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Feb. 10th, 2009

Wish

Signing my life away for another year...

Two words:

I.B. - International Baccalaureate.


It's time again to fill out schedules and I find myself choosing the classes that will upset me, stress me out, and downright tear me to pieces. So why am I signing my life away? I LOVE it. For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm actually learning something that I can use. Sure, I'm spending way too much time on reading journals, but really. How many high school classes get to discuss WHY an author chose to write the way he did? It's getting into the mind of the author, reading behind the  words, that interests me. Maybe I've finally cracked under the pressure of I.B., but who cares?

Lately, I've been saying "fuck it" to a lot of things, and I'm a lot happier because of it. It's time to cut my losses, which I should've done for a while now. Life is what I'm making of it, and right now, I'm relishing that fact. I don't need others to make decisions for me. I know I'm on the path that will help forge me into the person I want to be when I'm older.

This break from the harsh winter cold it making me enjoy things more. Food tastes better, friendships seem sweeter, and overall life doesn't seem so bad. I wish it would last, but alas! As all things do, this high is going to have a shitty crash, but I'm ready to deal with it. It's always worth it in the end.

Oct. 12th, 2008

Wish

Rebirth, amongst other things.

Upon reflecting on the past, I've come to realize how ridiculous I am. There is absolutely no need for me to be so self-loathing, paranoid, etc. I am a human living. I have friends, and people, that love me for who I am, and I should learn to accept that and believe that. I also find myself gaining confidence, which is rather odd, considering that I've never really welcomed it. And that fact would be misunderstood as modesty. I'm really starting to believe that I was, at one point, craving my own destruction. It was an endless cycle.

I've no need to absorb myself in the past. After all, I still have my present and my future.

Oct. 7th, 2008

Wish

Coffee Shops = Love.

Ah, they are simply amazing. There is nothing better than taking in the cute interior or the many different scents of coffee on a slow morning. I also find it amazing the variety of people that enter the small building in hopes of helping support independent coffee shops. I'm coming here from now on. I feel like I'm doing something good. Starbucks is no longer going to steal my money, but instead, I'm going to better the community.

Job hunting is a rather hard thing to do, especially when one lacks previous job experience. I think I want to apply to this coffeehouse...-ponders-

School tomorrow. Blegh. I have yet to get started on my I.B. English crap. Midsummer, here I come.~

Sep. 18th, 2008

Wish

Autumn - A Season of Change

Autumn is the epitome of change; leaves turn colors, the temperatures turn from a blazing heat to a crisp cool, even the days begin their journey to becoming shorter. At times like these, I often find myself going through my own series of metamorphoses. I've opened up and found space in my once broken heart for a new soul, my girlfriend, Kelsey. I am also finding myself slowly making a transition into becoming more comfortable with myself, among other things. I credit two people with that transition: CJR and KAC.

Within recognizing change, one becomes more acquainted with oneself, with one's faults, with one's desires. I look back and realize how truly pathetic I have been. Becoming self-absorbed with my faults and causing them to push away those close to me. I held resentment inside myself for so long for a person who didn't even deserve it. I falsely accused someone, when it was I who needed to grow up and get over myself. With these tiny insights, they make me want to improve who I am and who I've been. I don't want to continue carrying on as the same person I was a few months ago, for the very fact that I am not that same person. I have changed into someone new, however small the changes are.

And with all of this, I find it somewhat humorous that we've begun reading Ovid's Metamorphoses during such a season of change.



Wish

February 2009

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